medievalbooks: (Default)
Very wierd time....noone knows what to do.

My nephew has scheduled the service and had his body cremated. I offered to help with the finances of this.

First two days, the sibs and Roxanne and nephews and nieces talked with each other. Dead silence for a week or so. Roxanne (the fiancee) asked me who was coming and I couldn't answer. I sent out a note to find out and got one respeonse and Mom saying she can't make it, too much of a journey and that was it from the sibs. Think Rox is probqably feeling along with everything else that folks are angry at her. She as much as said that to me in a private message. But I don't think it is real for most of our family. Plus going to the house where he shot himself is not something they may want to do.

I don't know....I know he will get a good send off from his friends that are local and his very immediate family. I want to support her as much as possible. Am not fond of the woman but she helped and was a good helpmate to him in most regards. I will be there early tomorrow to help her deal with the family if any show up beforehand and then go to the service in the evening.

His death cas put a large crack in the Meany Family. We lost our Dad around 20 years ago...that rocked us hard, then Beth - John's 1st wife. That tore his kids up bad, Then Matt, my youngest brother and now John. But his death was not expected and a suicide, we are all doing the "what could I have done" thing. Not sure our family can survive this, at least as a family dynamic. Alrready I am seeing folks cleave onto each other - by that the immediate loved ones and not reaching out to the others in the family. The pain is just too real and too hard.

I am the eldest...I have to at least try when all I want to do is get away from all this death and pain.

We have started putting up pictures, which helps a bit. Maybe tomorrow will help when we can be with each other...those who have decided to come.
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