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We had John's service a couple of weeks ago. It was very well attended. The Police Force showed up in a goodly amount and spoke with individuals of their sorrow at his dying, the Fire dept did to...not nearly as many. Both spoke and gave wonderful tributes.

Roxanne had a small get together which most of the family attended. Others didn't for reasons of their own.

I have had to be the bad Meany and try to contct everyone and get a clearer idea of what happened so we are all on the same page instead of gossip flying about. Plus we need to be unified in what we tell Mom. So far, he died in his sleep according to our decision. Not happy with this because she has been asking questions.

One of the things that have come out is that John had been sleepless for a number of nights. We all suffer from insomia - or most of us -for a variety of reason. Plus he was having relationship issues, money issues and was possibly being bullied or harassed at work.
He evidently got a job that one of the old timers wanted for himself or a friend. And the guy was making his life miserable. In so much that John was terrifed of being fired. Some how he felt there was information out there that he felt could put him in jail. Which according to folks, was way overblown. We are still gathering information...possible there might be a wrongful death suit down the way. Apparently something similar had happened short while before to another person. Bullying. So the perefect storm happened and because of it John took his life.

I again had to be the bad Meany and start planning his memorial Service in May. Some members are upset at this...too soon. But Mom hasn't had one she could attend yet.

When Matt died, it was painful - he died of cancer. But we knew what the enemy was and how to deal with it. The family hasn't been able to deal with John's death. And won't for awhile. We have dealt with death....but not by a beloved family member's own hand.

IN addition Rox's Mom died a day before the first service, plus her daughter has a nervous breakdown and she had to take care of the grandkids, her daughter is nowhere to be found...

Politics on FB I could care less about...wish I could but so numb and all the malarkey that is happening seems so very unreal and I am still numb.

So yeah, escaping into SCA shows is a very happy thing for me right now.
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